Thursday, May 05, 2011

Boston interlude

I'll finish my Boston writeup some time when I'm not supposed to be grading papers... I promise.  I, however, wanted to note to the world that I picked up my wedding dress today.  It's lovely.  It's white...with a hint of blue...  Who's my designer, you ask?  Nike.  Really.  I'm actually quite angry with Nike right now over their crap customer service policy re: items purchased at a race expo that turn out to have semi-major flaws, but alas, they had the *perfect* dress, and as we all know, when a girl finds her perfect dress in a catalog, the only proper thing to do is order it, sight unseen, in two sizes.  You can do that when your wedding dress is an off-the-rack tennis dress.  Score one for the nontraditionalists.

After receiving an email this morning from Jason "David's Bridal" Page, and a follow up from the lovely Kim "why is my husband answering the phone at our store 'David's Bridal'" Page, I ventured over to Bull City after hauling our catering point-man over to Umstead to check out the wedding brunch site.  I'll get back to the dress in a second, but I wanted to throw this out there as well: I imagine people in catering have a lot going on right now with graduations galore coming up, but the following conversation was not super confidence-building (noting that it was not the owner of the business I was talking to, but our assigned event point-man):
"You're having the wedding at your house?"
"No - the reception is at the house"
"With brunch?"
"No - the wedding and brunch are here at the park"
"In the afternoon?"
"No - at 8:30AM"
"Oh....*puzzled look*"
Now I know that they probably don't do many 8:30AM weddings, and they probably also don't do many weddings that are followed by brunch AND an afterparty, and I'm sure they'll look over the plans again somewhere closer to the date, but I still have visions of Victor and our lovely brunch sitting at the house while we all die of starvation, and a pile of turkey breast arriving at Umstead sometime Sunday for the horseflies (don't even get me started on wedding day horsefly fears) to eat.  Regardless, take away previous point awarded to the nontraditionalists :(

ANYWAY, back to the dress.  I arrived at Bull City and found Jason and George looking just a wee bit bored and searching for entertainment.  Apparently 4PM on a Thursday is not a big time at the store (note to anyone looking for extra super customer service)?  Their faces positively lit up upon my arrival (I may be exaggerating a bit here... but they did seem a little happier to see me than normal).  I'd like to think it was because they were excited about spending a few minutes with me, but I think George was really looking forward to mocking my ordering of a tennis dress from a running store and Jason was still secretly uber-excited about finding the perfect blue to go with Ronnie's vest and wanted to see it in its full glory.  I was slightly less excited as I was secretly wondering if either dress would fit, as I seem to have ventured into some sizing void by dropping 5 lbs to get down to fighting weight (and find my abs again).  Luckily, when I pulled out the dresses, I found the medium was... pretty good... a little loose up top, but nothing a little tailoring wouldn't fix... not sure if the tailor people are up for an integrated sports bra, but was to be a problem for another day.  The small was... um... scandalous.  As Jason put it (not having seen the disaster as I did not wear it out of the dressing room), "it took the wedding from family-friendly to NC 17".  There was really nothing left to the imagination.  At all.  AND it was white. So that helped.

So medium it was.  As an added bonus, the fine folks at Nike had sent a wind jacket in place of Ronnie's shirt, so I scored a new jacket ... and Ronnie may be going shirtless.  C'est la vie.  At least his vest will match the dress....though without a shirt, he looks kind of like a stripper in the bowtie, vest, and tails, so perhaps I should have gone with the small to maintain the theme?  ...but I digress...

So I took my medium dress home and pondered what to do about the ineffectual (and oddly bulky and visible from the outside) integrated bra.  ...and then I did what any normal bride-to-be would do: I cut up my wedding dress.  Take THAT ineffectual bra!  So now that I've gotten rid of the weird, bulky, ill-fitting, ineffectual bra, the dress actually lies much better...though it is now completely lacking in support and a little see-through (still a good match for shirtless Ronnie and the NC17 wedding... which is what I will name my band if I ever start one).  So my next mission is clear: find a bra that will accommodate the asymmetrical neckline of my now customized wedding dress... and plastic wine glasses...we need plastic wine glasses.

Until next time, my pretties...


Bart said...

Thanks for the laugh Karen. Your wedding is going to be one of the coolest ever.

Voracious, T said...

How about just using pasties? You can get those at Target - and it adds a little extra dollop of unconventional sizzle!

Karen said...

Tiffany - awesome idea!! With our without tassels, though...

Bill said...

What a hoot! Sounds like your wedding will be uniquely Karen&Ronnie. That's great to see.

Taking the pasties and NC17 thing a set further, they're having burlesque dancing workshops at Motorco this coming Saturday.