stupid rant of the day

I am not a short person. I will readily admit that, at some times in my life, my pants have been pushing the limit of socially acceptable length. I've never been asked if I'm expecting a flood or anything, but it's hard to find pants that fit when you're a female but are the height of an average male (look it up - average American male is 5' 9.5"). I am forever grateful the people in the fashion industry who finally realized that there are tall women out there who live on a budget and, as a result, started selling pants in "long" sizes at stores where I can afford to shop. I really do appreciate that. Really.

What I can't understand is short people whose pants are too short. 99% of pants made for adults in this world would be too long, if anything - how is it that YOU managed to find the one pair of pants anywhere that doesn't even touch the top of your shoes? ...or are you just mocking those of us who have done a better job of overcoming gravity?

Marge Simpson is a sage

So I managed to catch the Simpson's re-runs on TV last night and it was as if fate had plunked me down in front of the TV... You see, Lisa won tickets to an indy flick on NPR and dragged the whole family to see a movie called "Kosovo Autumn" or something to that effect and as the family is leaving the theater, the following conversation took place:

Bart: [after they watch a foreign film] I was so bored I cut the pony tail off the guy in front of us.

[holds pony tail to his head]

Bart: Look at me, I'm a grad student. I'm 30 years old and I made $600 last year.

Marge: Bart, don't make fun of grad students. They've just made a terrible life choice.

So true, Marge, so true....

warning: attactus - it looks harmless enough...

I was innocently trying close the blinds today when, out of nowhere, I was mauled by a vicious attactus. It looks like a harmless little houseplant, sitting innocently next to the window, but beware - a small brush against the plant with an unwary digit will result in an index finger full of little hairlike needles. Even worse, though, is that the afflicted appendage will sting for hours afterward.

I was just trying to help...it was getting dark...I didn't want the little plants getting cold next to the window in this frigid (HA!) North Carolina winter evening weather. Apparently I had overstepped my bounds.

As an aside, I would like to point out that it is supposed to rain here tomorrow...nothing says Merry Chistmas like a nice, gray, rainy day!

Happy holidays to all (except my new sworn enemy, the attactus)!

an actual post...as if anyone reads this stuff...

So I'm seeing someone now who is a far better runner than I. This is amazing for me because watching him run literally gives me goosbumps. ...that and I happen to find good running a huge turn-on, but that's beside the point. The point is spending time with someone so talented has inspired me to actually put some effort into my own running. I've decided the days of skating by on the 3-day-a-week program are gone and that I would like to actually see what my little body is capable of doing. In this vein, I decided to assess my situation at what may have been the dumbest venue ever: the Shut-in Ridge Trail run.

For those of you uninitiated, this is a lovely (read: grueling) 18-ish mile run (read: run/hike/shuffle) over some beautiful (okay, they really are beautiful) hills (dilemma here - coming from Colorado, I can't call the Smokies "mountains", but the parts that we run up seem very much like vertical climbs that go on for 100 miles.... I guess I will call them steep, long-ass hills?). I ended up the 16th female out of 55, which was acceptable, took 20 minutes off my finishing time compared to the last time I ran it, and beat the girl I had been seesawing with for the whole race. I also ran as well as I could, strategically speaking, given my level of training. Ah ha! You say - my "level of training"? Yes, I did well on the flat parts, I did well on the downhills, I even did well on the more gentle uphills, the problem was when I got to the steeper uphills, I didn't have a gear for that. The annoyance was overwhelming. So there you go - I need to get stronger so the steeper uphills are not such a problem for me. As an aside, Ronnie came in 7th overall and was the first flat-land finisher - I'm so proud of him!!!!

So here we go - a frank assessment of where I stand:
I know I have some talent for distance running (I managed to get 5th in a 40-miler last November without actually cracking 40 miles in a training WEEK leading up to it). I think, however, I've reached the limit of what I can accomplish by simply varying the length of my long run on Saturdays...

I am weak. Apparently, 7 years of not visiting the gym or doing any really tough hill workouts has caught up with me and though my legs are quite toned and can run for a very very long time, they are weak. If I wasn't weak, those hills would not have been the problem they were. I need to work on attacking every hill I cross when I'm training and maybe throw in some stair workouts (UGH) every so often.

If I am to really take this training thing seriously, I need to run more than 3 days a week (and hashing doesn't count.... though it does provide some opportunity for some good ol' fashion fartlek trail running!). I am now set to run Mon nights (~6 miles), Weds mornings (~6 miles for now), Thurs nights (~7 miles for the winter), and Sat mornings (12-15 miles), and will add either an easy run Tues or Fri or a tough workout Fri afternoon as training progresses. As of now, this brings my weekly base mileage to 30-35 with the additional Tues/Fri workouts on top of that.

I need to vary my workouts. Running all distances moderately hard is great, but it might be helpful to have a little more variety... Mile repeats on Weds mornings. Stairs some Friday afternoons. We'll see what pace Mon and Thurs settle out to...

I am targeting Uwharrie (beginning of Feb) for the next assessment of progress.... I would really like to get back into the top 3 this year....

Other random training goal: Get 6 mile repeats under 6:30 so I can go sub-42 at the Bolder Boulder....may not be feasible this year, but it's a goal :)

And, finally, my thoughts on all this for today:

The upside of all this is I think I might be surprised at what I can accomplish; there have been small flashes of running brilliance on my part (2nd at Uwharrie 2 years ago) in the sea of middling to slightly above average performances that have marked my running career thus far.

The downside is that training hard hurts. I've started doing some mile repeats on Weds mornings and I have to say that while I appreciate the benefits and the principles, those workouts are just not fun. I come away with a sense of accomplishment and pride that I managed to haul my buns out of bed early on yet another Wednesday morning, but I can't say that I've ever actually enjoyed such a workout.

Another upside, though, is that sometimes I get a breakfast date after the run, which DEFINITELY makes the whole thing worthwhile :)

Downside: Training hard also makes you tired. I swear I can't get enough sleep to make up for the abuse that I'm inflicting upon myself. Maybe if I give up working, I could catch up?

Thank you for listening.

I'm getting too close

You see, I've been having trouble getting the last couple of experiments to work for my first publication out of this lab and I think I've finally figured out why. I am clearly getting too close to the truth and God is saying, "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you." Thus, I have a compromise - If I can get the pictures I need in order to graduate, I will completely misinterpret them so we don't actually get any closer to the answer... sound like a deal?

Further proof that Steve Martin is brilliant...

He said this:

"I often think all that thinking we do and that emotional pain is some kind of evolutionary flaw. Why? Why are we neurotic? What's the purpose?" Martin said. "It's something like evolution going too far, and we end up so worried about things that don't matter. That's what love is. It's like this whole side effect of mating that got really complicated."

football funnies from this weekend...

First, I don't know if you'll find anyone anywhere who would claim Duke is a football school. Actually, I don't even know if you would find anyone who would even call the team decent, but I think they may have reached a new low this weekend: You see, the expansion of the ACC means we now get to play the likes of Virginia Tech, which we did on Saturday. The final score was 45-0 in favor of Tech, but the really sad part is that Duke only had 35 yards of total offense. Yes, Va Tech had more points than we had yards...

Second, while watching the UNC-Ga Tech game, one of the commentators uttered the following:
"There have been four instances in this game where penalties have had an effect on field position..." Now, I may be wrong here, but don't penalties usually have an effect on field position? I can only think of a couple of situations where penalties DON'T have an effect on field position....

Anyway, it's good to have college football back in my life...if only I could find a decent team to watch live....